Saturday, June 11, 2005

Memo To Michael

Inter-Agency Communication
For Your Perception Only:

Memorandum; to/and/or/for:
Michael (1),

Archangel Plenipotentiary, Senior System Administrator [Meta-manifestation: Yahweh (13), Panoptian Subomniverse, Urantian Sector (Interdicted!)}. Ultimate Arbiter, and Appointed Ruler of All Things Within the purview of aforementioned, Fractal Spheroidal Production Coordinator of all the Heavenly Host (e’en unto those insurrectionists that have since seceded from the Galactic Union). Worlds without end. Amen!
Re: Ongoing attempts to manipulate the evolutionary progress of the Experimental Life Vehicle: 666 (Y-13,-P.-Urantia); [Planoforming Patent and Material Manifestation Number: 666 (Y-13,-P.-Urantia)].

Sorry as I am to say it, the consensus here at G.O.D. (Galactic Operations Directorate), is that you’ve blown it badly, buddy!
Most of the Elohim Electorate were quite dubious about the extirpation of the Saurian experiment on the world Urantia, but, upon your recommendation, they (by a very slim margin, if you will but remember) allowed you the unprecedented recourse of ecocatastrophe, to better allow your biotechs to start anew.
The decision to allow you, and your engineers, to mass-drive an errant asteroid into this world was not arrived at lightly, mind, but was seen by the consensus as the only recourse possible for salvaging a demonstrably failed project. Hopefully, we needn’t remind you that the time-cost analysis for this particular module is far over the Beelzebub-line.
Therefore, we shan’t mince words. The destruction of the indigenie’s most complete repository of knowledge (to wit: the “Library of Alexandria”) was certainly ill advised, if not, as opined by some in our frat-eternity, thoroughly unconscionable. Some manipulation of life-experimentation module development has generally been adjudged tolerable in the past, but to have to have resorted so frequently and repressively (the infamous and heinous social control mechanism your administration instituted, named the “Inquisition” by the natives comes to mind) to the evolving corpus philosophi on Urantia, seems to indicate a marked inability on your part to deal with the ongoing parameters of this particular and, admittedly, peculiarly precocious and perspicaciously profound experiment.
Now, don’t think that G.O.D. doesn’t take into account the obfuscation of data induced by the unheard of defection of your predecessor, Lucifer, and the approximate third of the Panoptian bureaucracy, to the side of the inhabitants of Urantia and their co-revolutionaries, the twenty-six other planets containing ongoing life experiments in this part of the subomniverse that seceded from the Galactic Union. On the contrary, the introduction of the boddhisatvic incarnation, “Jesus”, was ample demonstration of our desire to ameliorate the counter-productive effects of the influence of this unprecedented and unprincipled cooking of Urantian data. It was certainly simple enough for us to assist this engineered avatar with a few minor demonstrations of our advanced technological expertise (which, to this moment, most of the indigenie’s still regard as “miracles”), in an attempt to foster the proper respect for G.O.D.’s principles.
Nevertheless, there are those in our ranks who are still of the opinion that your heavy handed techniques and the arrogant and authoritarian attitudes of the members of your staff who remained loyal were partly to blame for the dysfunctional occurrences hereintofore referred to. If you will recall, also, you were certainly not taken to task for the disaffection of your second-in-command and most of your staff when it occurred.
In peroration, we would like to state that, as of now, your most important obligation is to prevent any realization on the part of the presently somewhat technologically advanced inhabitants of this planet that we have played any demonstrable role in the ongoing genetic engineering and social manipulation of humanity as a species. Further discoveries of a reflectively sensitive nature (such as the recently discovered flashlight battery encased in 200,000 year-old agate, stupidly dropped and subsequently ignored by one of your staff, or the regrettably non-eradicated evidence of your planetary spaceport, the so-called “Nazca Plain Lines”) would be incredibly detrimental to our cause.
We cannot afford any more slip-ups of this nature, because, if the natives ever discover the essential nature of our influence in their affairs, and/or become cognizant of our role in instituting the cruel evolutionary parameters necessary to our aims, we might well lose their support when they become ready to emerge from their collective stupor and assume their place in the uplifted hierarchy of viable beings. I needn’t remind you of the slim majority that our party now enjoys in the current convocation of evolved beings, and that any loss of voting delegates would be to our ultimate detriment. Hopefully, a word to the wise should suffice here. Looking forward to seeing you at the upcoming Aquarian Advent party.
Yours eternally,