Monday, December 26, 2005

Just My Luck (parenpatethetically speaking)


Just a letter at Christmas to catch you up on what has happened to me over the past year, with regard to our former home in hippieschoolbusRVParkSedonazona.
Did I ever tell you that Noel (John Schroder's girlfriend) told me she was in love with me the last time I was in Sedona? (She had given me hints when I had gone through there before in 2002, before she was hooked up with John.) I didn't know what to do seeing as, in late 2004, she was 5 months pregnant at the time with (supposedly) Schroder's kid.

This all happened last Nov. I had gone down to AZ after deciding to move from Golden 'cause there were too many tweakers where I lived (they even stealing the validation stickers off license plates - so everybody in the neighborhood had to slice them with a razor so that they would come off in little pieces and do the theives no good - stuff like that) and I had angered the local authorities (I had an actual price on my head - offered by the local undercover drug cops for someone to plant meth-lab equipment or precursors in my house) with my attempts to help (because of my having been, at one time or another, addicted to every drug imaginable - except heroin - myself) these pathetic sots kick their addictions, and resist illegal encroachments (because of all my street resistance experience in Berkeley after I dropped out of UC there in '71) on their 4th. Amendment Rights (warrentless searches etc.).

I was going back to Golden, CO, from Sedona, AZ, to pick up my Machinist's tools 'cause I had a few job offers in Northern California if I could just show up there, when, the night I was leaving, Noel told everybody at the table (down in the big house at the bottom of Art Barn Rd. by Oak Creek below Hawkeye RV Park where John lives now) that she was in love with me. John was sitting right there and I didn't really know what to do or say (the way I see it I am honor-bound NOT to intrude upon a committed relationship), so I just left. I drove out the next day thinking that I would go get my tools and stop back in on my way through Sedona after thinking the situation through on the road. I would definately have scooped her up and run with her if the situation had been any different.

I had talked to my ex, Anita, on the phone about the Bus (which, at the time I left, was still sitting in storage at Krazy K RV in Camp Verde). She was living with that guy Mike - the blonde male nurse with the bad case of rosacea - and working bundling sage for Desert Dancer and wanted to sell the Bus back to me for $3000.00 (after I had just given it to her) because she needed new teeth (having lost all of her own). I left without seeing her trying to fetch my tools and get back so that I could figure out what to do about Noel.

Unfortunately, fate intervened when my car blew up, on the way back to CA, in Trinidad CO (NOT the Subaru parts capital of the world!) and therein lies a tale for another time that proves to me, at least, that this whole ordeal is still being orchestrated by my Soul(Essence) for the purposes of its own growth, and that my continued existance, if not my happiness, is necessary for its selfish karmic purposes. I was stuck there, in a motel in downtown (sic) Trinidad, having used parts UPS-ed to me from wrecking yards in Albequerque and beyondfor a few momnths and then, when I finally put the engine back together, it was the middle of the winter (Jan., 2005) and I had a job offer up here in Fort Collins. So, rather than attempt to get all the way to No. CA (1300 miles), I drove up here (300 miles) where I have been working, paying off the IRS, and saving up money for a new car ever since.

I have tried to get in touch with Noel (wrote John a letter, tried to find Hawkeye's e-mail address, etc.) but with no luck. I haven't called there (I do still know the number) because John never answered my letter and got back in touch with me, AND, evidently, he never wanted Noel to hook up with me anyway (AND I never really knew if I was ready for the responsibility of a wife thirty years younger than I and a baby who was the alleged progeny of an old friend).

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm still alone and lonely - hopelessly so. Hope you and yours have a great New Year (anything'll be better than mine, I'm sure.) - The Dalf

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

A Wiccan Christmas Card

The Season Of Supposed Good Cheer

Well folks, once again, it is that time of year.
So let me tell you all a story, steeped, ages deep, in vainglory,
about this season of supposed good cheer:

Long, long ago when this world was quite young,
most people believed in a religion that said man and nature were one.
The symbol of this synthesis was half-animal and half man.
A totally harmless, flute playing sprite who reveled in life,
worshiping only the light, and all the folk called him—Pan.

Goat horned and hooved was he, a simple illustration, you see,
of the wide world in balance, nature and human life in close harmony.
But then a new religion arose, calling the innocent old faith perfidy,
based upon a concept of life as anthro(as opposed to eco)centricity.
With intolerance was it rife, and after its god it did hight—Christianity.

Thereupon, the folk all were told (andforced to say it was true)
that all the old ways were wrong, that the new god was so strong.
Thus the god of the older faith became the “devil” of the new!
Gross cruelty and persecution did then begin, and thereafter did ensue
the evil times, “The Dark Ages”, and more all should, to this day, rue.

So for all the gentle souls who were tortured, or at the stake burned,
for believing intheir religion, for persevering about Nature to care,
let us offer up a paean (or call it a prayer) to whatever god you dare:
that from theocentricity, hatred and bigotry be all religions turned;
that, no longer should anyone, because of their faith, have to fear!

Then this season might truly be, for all , one of good cheer!

Monday, December 19, 2005

A Pagan Christmas Card

Midwinter's Eve Again

This season, hight “Christmas”, has rolled round once more
And we’d like to remind you, as you’re shopping in stores,
That long ‘fore religion's we know celebrated this rite,
Down through thousands of years, allaying all fears:
The Winter Solstice a pagan holiday was, all day and all night.

Folks stayed up to celebrate, till dawn, with their friends.
Making sure Sun would come back, again and again.
Through cold rain and snow, ‘round fires all night long,
They sang songs and waited, misty breath unabated:
A vigil fair maintained, assuring naught would go wrong.

Thus we wish you good fortune, good cheer and fine plight,
And we wish so, remembrance, of this night’s true respite:
From the forces of Darkness, stagnation’s requite.
Enlightenment we evoke, from ignorance to invoke:
“Be excellent to each other!” and “Party down!”, it's your right!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Sequipedalien Paronomasia, cont.

. . . Things just got stranger and stranger though. I ran into my 43rd wife
there, sporting new mams (she, not me), and a new beau (some codpiece-enhanced crackreek© CPA from Tierra Del Fuego North©, with a contiguwuss© eyebrow and betelnutrotted© plasteeth), at the nightly ‘JackoffJill Disco’©; humped them both perverunctoreally© (for Deco-rhum’s© sake) and ended up whipped and wayoverhung© at the Club’s Breakfastorgybar gimme-Buffet© trying to choke down a plate of ‘MagnoliaThunderpussy(©)Pooptarts’© and fresh jizcream©, while unSteadmanly dodgering© the OTTOmaided© cat-o-mime-tails© wilding Elviituvla’s© that were working the buffetline.

It was then that I had my now much valleywho-Op-ed© epiepiphany©, in an effuallgent© flash of agenbitinwitsitu©-IRMWsckt©-shortedtoground-threw-brainspam© so perspirinvidiouscicacious© that if froze the Synthlymph© in my stunned and reeling hydro-enSETHalamic© AIemplants©!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - :

. . . “THE BANNED”©!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was on a MISSION FROM COD!!!!!! I had regained my Guerrilla WittgenSteiner© cummingsynsenessence© of NOHthrupFryedlike© centracontraility© of mythooze©, and myonaninkarnakitive© concupissantequiproseleGaiaSet-E©!!!


WAYRADITWAS, and well, the rest is herstory, as y’ll know, but those were theodoronodaze© my frskens, and that was how it all CAymendooBBing@. I gHesse© chew jest ad two Bea “ARThiere”©, don’cha’gnome©, don’cha’gnoumenon©! It’s just like Tiny Dr. Tim and/or Gandalf said, longague© in Fairway Park: ‘We’ve already won, all that’s left is the moppin’ up.”! The viewture will be shapesifted by GrindingrungrunniongrinninAOLollywaillin© young ThrasheRs with wetwirednetskateboards©.

{IMNSHO, there’s no reasonably probable [IOW: none now having greater than what I calcululate© to be an 11% (±2%) chance of consensocioccurrence© (percentages having permutatively decreased in conformance with the vaticinaderivation© of a geomatriaxially© continuiguous© AINcontraverticestringfractal-inaccessationablequationmodel© since ‘65)] bifurconcatenation©/line-of-’futurehistory’-force-vector-sum that will escape the substantive influence of of the 60’s, so get over it, already, all you fundittoheads and nostalgia buffs.} Progress, don’t repress or regress. ‘YAH don’t need TA wHETherman, for ‘lo, ‘WITCH-WAY’ this wind blows.’} -J- );{>

All comments cheerfully solicited - just a short one this, but this is what I feel I do best, I can, and will, if asked, define and/or explain any of the Neologisms hereinbefore created/used, and some of the polyentendre. Please though, be patient, I do have a “just-a-cog-in-the-gears-of-the-GNP” stultifyingly non-creative day job and some scant semblance of a life. Namaste.

*BTW - The Test: How many of the identified new words above can be attributed to citable sources previous to this publication? How does a Neologist make money from Neology? I haven’t a clue. Do you? Anyway, “(t)hank you for encouraging my behavior.” *

Sunday, November 13, 2005

GreyWolf (for Anna)


Under skies leaden
GreyWolf goes hunting,
his future tracking through days of haze . . .

. . . and if it were caught and slain,
how could that be?

Metaphorescent and red on the snow;
what would to be done then?

Promulgate the past with endless loops of leaps,
chasing that which has been
because that which will be is dead now-
can it then be
a fugue state of starvation

Surely . . .

. . . unless,

pursuing, past sophistry turning
in a curve,
cramped and panting;
that which was spurns
purpose and presently

is\will be
infinity free.

As . . .

. . .under skies leaden
GreyWolf goes hunting,
the future tracking through days of haze.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


The Buddha's first words, upon his emergence from his mother's womb supposedly were: "I have come to free all mankind from suffering." Noble ideal, huge undertaking, partial success, perhaps inexacting apprehension of the true cause of suffering. I have come to believe, and hence am engaged writing this blog, that the cause is BOTH the architecture AND the Architect of material existance.
In Tibetan Buddhism, a Bodhisattva is anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone else, and, for some, a vow not to 'cycle-off' the 'Wheel of Dharma" until ALL can do so has been taken and motivates incarnation after incarnation.
Now the smart thing for anyone who awakes within a lifetime like this to a sense of 'samshara' (being-in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world) is to, as quickly as possible,
analyse - to the best of one's abilities - the quickest way to accomplish this aim, and, to borrow a phrase from a famous redneck comic: "Git 'er done"! So am I attempting to do.
Part of my particular path to the conclusion that our existential raison d'etre is inextricably linked with the oppressive need of our Souls for Growth, as it were, and that need causes each and every life, for each and every one of us, to be an enforced sacrifice of such contumaciously wrought circumstance that one must conclude that both the very nature of corporeal manifestation, AND whatever it was that concatenated such a system into being was seriously lacking in moral and ethical reflection, was the study of Christianity from a "X-Files" point of view.
The idea that the (perhaps) fractal nature of the impingement of beings BEYOND the perception of our universe we are capable of with our 5 senses necessarily imbues them with some sort of "divinity" is a solopsism so insidious and pernicious as to poison our understanding of the possible gallimaufry of multifarious permutations of descriptions of reality that could be used as lenses for our understanding of our place in the omniverse and said omniverse's structure itself.
Just as we are (self-conscious) beings, trapped by the constraints (Laws) of Physics at the bottom of a gravity-well, kept from apprehending the preponderant nature of the universe (space is a mostly a vacuum, matter is an exception to this rule, etc. etc.) by our spatial limitations, so I believe, are our minds constrained by a gravity-well of inculcated religious and philosophical limitation from perceiving the truer (that is, more in conformance with a preponderance of the data) implications bidden by the designed trap that our limited sensorium has placed us within, if we let the hubris of conditioned delusions-of-grandeur blind us to the possibilities inherent within a world view that posits the possibility of existance beyond our self-awareness, and the (I believe) PROBABILITY that these "ineffable" existances could be using us, say better KEEPING us, in durance vile, for the glorification of their own ends.
Well, "To each his onus.", I have always said, and thus and so, I guess I have my work cut out for me - but I shall endeavour to persevere. The simplest truths seem the hardest to communicate (QUICK: explain gravity to yourself RIGHT NOW, in your head! . . . Did you involve any inverse square ratios in your explanation? And if so, how and why?) . . . see what I mean?

Sunday, October 23, 2005

1 Morsatyrdanite


Smallroom airpressure nosebleed soundwall tautaureally atmoshfearachewrecktonic. Cigabarettesmokearabasques shaped by eonoverdriven airtones rise, as conchordilatedcilia writhe, whelming enrapt in a subsemihemidemisonic tinnitususurrus. The Akashic Records distort, nanomomentearaholy trying to contain the burgeoning noiseffulgent waveforms.

More hair per capita than Berserkusly in its hey-heydaze and no existential espresso dilemmalamas to dissemble and dissasimple. Any tonal comprehension fleesfastfowardpastnueuralnets longsinceblown from maxinputpowders and continual sensauraloverload.

Ah ROCKANDROLL - Goddaman Rockandruckingfoll - and Niles legendary Station, during its last year - April Fool’sday, no foolin’, suckin’ up booze and heavymetalhammer-ons till dawn so past “GOPAZZOUTONSUMMUNELSEFOOL” need moranmoranmoron c’mom, c’mon, c’mon . . . these soundwaves as radioswells willrushintospace, far past good taste and apace the speed of thought caught in a metalnightenregaleforcewind of smallclubthrashsoul.

(Just think - thistuff’le speed outward from Earth forever, bigriffrippin’ at the speed-o’-light, out into the cocmos. Tearing gaping holes through diaphanous nebulae, aeuphonically wastewailing past gasping pulsars, perhaps even setting off some resonaolient scintillulullation in serene solar winds as it roars decadbescadent and godgoadingly loud offandaway.);{>

The ghost of poordeaddeaf Beethovan rotates on his astralaxes at a megamillion R.P.M. and SidVicious’s essence smiles the ectoribaldricraplasmically vacant grin of the theaetherically pithed, while everonward, a mobiustrippinkleinbottlenecknote
imbeds itself on the event horizon as I scream for another beer and count myself lucky to be still here and hearing still on 1morsatyrdanite.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

My Sutra: Separation Anxiety

When a Soul has exhausted all of the relatively mundane and obvious goads to "growth through cruelty" (such as physical torture of the incarnation - In As Many Obscene and Sick Ways As Possible - hereafter IAMOSWAP; murder of the corporeal form, IAMOSWAP; sexual abuse of the individual, IAMOSWAP, both as an adult and as a child; incarnation as a physically or mentally ill personality, IAMOSWAP; etc., etc.) the subtlety of contumacious pusillanimity in lifepath-opportunity construction becomes rather esoteric in it methodologies for presenting the individual with pain-and-difficulties-to-be-transcended-in-order-for-the-Soul-to-grow. One of these methodologies is Separation Anxiety. This is the 'sutra' of thislife, for me.

A 'sutra', as I understand it, is a thread of experiential similarity that runs through one's life and defines (if one can perceive it properly) a lesson one is being forced to learn, or a remedial conditioning that one's Soul wishes to have inculcated far past the chance of evasion or forgetfulness, throughout an individual lifetime.

For me, my abandonment by my birth-mother, and the consequent loss of pheromonal bonding inherent in the mother-child-suckling/weaning process, was used (along with my Natal chart's Saturn conjunct the Ascendant aspect - which one prominent Asrologer called: "The educational power of pain.") to lay out for me a series of betrayals and abandonments of me, by those I most loved and by whom I most desired to be loved, stretching through 35 years adult relationships including one marriage and two 4 year pair-bonds, as well as numerous less lengthy romances.

Now the case can be made (and has been) that one CHOOSES one's romantic partners and that the fault in faulty choice is the individual's, but when one is, from birth, (in some cases, like mine, on a level so thoroughly sub-and/or-un-conscious that it takes years of therapy or assiduous self-scrutiny to discern) conditioned to choose those that will betray and abandon one, the point is well rendered moot, and, I say, the responsibility is the Soul's, and the consequences lead one to conclude that the experience is considered necessary and educational by the opprobrium of the cruel and sadistic Essence responsible for the construction of every lifetime's circumstances. More on this upcoming . . .

Sunday, September 25, 2005

And Now For Something Completely Depressing

(Hello my friends. save this one for when you're 'up', and into trying to understand the experience OF despair - it's one of my better works, but, unfortunately, its quite depressing. . . . oh well, "Pain Pays", as they say);{>

Oigolo Pablo, y lo siento.

My lips like truculent tumescent clamshells,
bent on expelling that blue otherworldliness
that is sky,
purse and blow,
bilabially fricative IN seahoarsely proportions
(as real as romance was ever my wont-

see me, imagine th

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Lizards Lay In Wait For The Wagons

I certainly don't seem to live in the same world most people do, and considering my personal history it's no wonder. Most people don't even know what neology is, and surely aren't able to pronounce epiphenoumenomenology, let alone cope with the concept of repressive de-sublimation as an inculcated cultural gloss. So when you top that off with my rampant Gnostic evangelism and extensive friendships with Angelic beings (on both sides of the "Fall") and numerous sundry wiccans who run the gamut of colorful persuasions you may begin to gain a sense of my idiososynchratic onus (To each his onus, eh?) and thence & hence, my diatrilemma:

Lizards lay in wait for the wagon.
Routed through rutted road
the neighing horses hurried
the two “norms”
toward their destination,

(a supposed bastion of
non-mutated sanity
within a world
gone genetically gravid
with possibilities).

Into the twisted trees
they turned
never knowing the passions
that burned
within the breasts
of the beasts
that slithered and hissed,
hidden in mists,
a scant semblance
of sanity
searing their synapses
with a blinding blood-lust.

Onward the wagon then
entering the murky fen,
the high pitched sibilance
of snake syllables
surround the travelers
in a turbid confusion
of scaled arms
and swords.

Surging over the wain
and wresting the life
from the two wayfarers
and ransacking the cargo
at leisure later.
yet somehow certain,
that those mindless impulses
that impel them
have purpose
and purvey
a better way
for the world to be

. . .

to violence and destruction
they would not have been liable
had the artifacts they carried
been anything other than
(what incisive saurians blamed
for the sorry state of the world
they’d inherited, and causally defamed) . . .

. . . a thousand moldy copies
of Gideons’ Bible!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Atramentaceous, cont.

Let’s say: at the nexus in convergence lines of future probability
(only through erudite analysis empirical becomes evident efficacy)
fractal interfaces form fortuitous in elegiac effulgency.
This perception of time and such apprehension’s an ability,

(seemingly unique and all mine).

Developed pursuing lifetimes of timelines indefagitably
(these cubistic visions select possible paths to serendipity)
I can now comprehensively forefend portents perspicaciously.
Infinitesimally misaligned divergences detail chronology,

(developing as duly defined).

Thus in floccinaucinihilipilifilistic factsimile
(fraught with thoughtforms tightly wrought in taut threnody)
polyentendre’s purview scansive ensues as a scurrilous scatomancy.
So as a spurious paradigm this idiom savant sings a singular chantey:

(herewith in rhyme,
there’s been committed no crime,
I hope you these words ion hyperbole followed
and thought them, perhaps,
asymptotically approaching sublime);{>

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Vainglory And History

A brief look at the treatment of genocide
in the American history of the
Spanish conquest of California.

“History is the propaganda of the victorious”

“And even I can remember
A day when the historians left blanks in their writings,
I mean for things they didn’t know.”
—Ezra Pound

A few people, perhaps, remember the Tasmanians. A few more may remember that there are no native Tasmanians alive today (by all accounts the last Tasmanian died around 1879). Maybe that’s why they’re memorable at all. I wonder if the Tasmanians would have made much of the fact that they are conspicuous only in their absence.
There have been so many incidents of genocide in the past few centuries what’s one more, give or take? Just in this century alone we have had the following large-scale racial atrocities: the Armenian massacres from 1915-1923, the Algerian and then the Ethiopian struggles in North Africa in the 30’s, the Japanese mass murders of the Chinese in the same decade, that nadir of recent exterminatory horror the Holocaust (the attempted genocide of the Jews by Hitler during World War II), the recent Khmer Rouge extirpations in Cambodia, and the current onslaught against the Paraguayan and Brazilian Indians in South America. One feels as though, like Stephen in Ulysses by James Joyce, history is some nightmare we must wake up from.
But the average person knows little of genocide beyond the word itself and, perhaps, some vague connotation of what Joseph Conrad descried as “The horror, . . .” (Heart of Darkness). What then is genocide? How is it defined and what are some of its characteristics? What is the role of history and of the historian in the chronicling of such monstrous acts? Let us attempt to see.
The Genocide Convention of 1948 at Nuremburg defines genocide in Article II of its Declaration as: “. . . any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial or religious group as such: (a) Killing members of the group; (b) Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; (c) Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; (d) Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group; (e) Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group” (Encyclopedia Social Sciences 518).
Even though genocide is a concept that has been codified only in the 20th Century, it can easily be seen that numerous instances have occurred throughout history, (the Trojans in the Iliad and the Tasmanians previously referred to for example). Jean-Paul Sartre writes: “The word ‘genocide’ is relatively new. It was coined by the jurist Raphael Lemkin between the two world wars. But the fact of genocide is as old as humanity. To this day there has been no society protected by its structure from committing that crime. Every case of genocide is a product of history and bears the stamp of the society which has given birth to it” (Sartre 57)
Why are average folk so ignorant of the incidence of these
inglorious acts? And why then is it so difficult to find any information on this most heinous of human crimes? If one searches in one’s local library it will be seen that the most infamous of these instances, the Holocaust, is quite well documented; but all other references to what amounts to the the majority of occurrences don’t add up to one tenth of those that document the perfidy of the Nazis. The blame for this dearth of diatribe should be placed squarely on the shoulders of that class of scriveners known as “Historians”.
It has been said that “History is too serious to be left to the historians.” (Macleod), and as regards these oversights in the written record that case can be well made. But on the other hand one is obliged to learn from history or one will be destined to repeat it.
Historians, thus, can be seen to have a manifold responsibility: that of the delineation of historicity, the tedious and painstaking task of the documentation and subsequent dissemination of data for educational purposes; and also the interpretation and ensuing distribution of this explication, hopefully in some fundamentally non-static and progressively more enlightened fashion, so that as the body of human knowledge and the collection of social contracts governing cultural interaction grow so also should the Historian’s lexicon of criteria grow to encompass the continually evolving state of human understanding.
It can be stated without equivocation or fear of refutation that genocide or attempted genocide is probably the most heinous, morally repugnant offense imaginable or possible in man’s experience and as such is deserving of special consideration in the annals of history and historians. Bearing this in mind, it is then possible for us to, in that light, judge the efficacy of any history or historian. It could even be shown that genocide is historiographically counterproductive in that it destroys ‘primary sources’ (eyewitnesses). Shouldn’t the exposition of such acts of inhumane contumely be of prime importance to the Historian in the guise of educator, and can we indite any particular historical account based upon the single standard of how, when germane, the subject of possible genocide is dealt with?
An illustration of this question and perhaps some answers to it can be found in a perusal of the ongoing controversy surrounding historical accounts of the Spanish (and subsequent Mexican and American) conquest of California and whether the subjugation of the California Indians by the Spanish between 1540 and 1820 was indeed genocide as defined. First, let’s see if any of the Spanish behavior can be construed as genocidal or exculpatory according to the historians and scholars most familiar with the issue.
Unfortunately for our purposes, most of the original accounts of the times were written by people whose objectivity has been called into question. In the book The Missions of California, A Legacy of Genocide, (whose very title suggests the editors view on the subject) the Introduction (page 1) states:
A myth has flourished in California for over a hundred years. It
asserts that the history of this state had its beginnings with
the Franciscan missions. The myth originated in the works of
scholarly propagandists of the Roman Catholic Church. . . .
They did not consider, nor would they believe, that the land
they had reached was already populated, civilized, subject to
authority and law, with a culture and religion of its own. . . .
The myth grew in form and lustre as the modern Catholic
historians continued to propagate it. . . . These clerical
historians were joined, with the American invasion and the
subsequent entry of the region as one of the United States, by
modern English-speaking and English-writing European
ideologist scholars of the state’s governing enclaves. . . .
Textbooks proclaimed that California history begins with the
missions. . . . [recently] American Indian historians . . . have
opened up the knowledge of their own history, and many of the
textbooks have [finally] given some attention to the original
owners and civilizers of this land. Brief paragraphs in some
cases, and short chapters in others have admitted, often
grudgingly, that the Native Indians were indeed the
trailblazers and settlers of this land we know as California.
It should come as no surprise also that up until recently no Indian narratives about the time were available in English, making it really appear as though “History gets thicker as it approaches recent times” (Taylor, bibl.).
Statistically speaking though, there have been many analyses which can be shown to support the notion that the Spanish were guilty of “Deliberately inflicting upon the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;” (Encyclopedia Social Sciences) as mentioned in the definition of genocide.
In Indians of California, The Changing Image, James Rawls states: “During the mission period the native population between San Francisco and San Diego fell from 72,000 to 18,000, a decline of over 75%” (18). It might be relevant to the issue of “intent” to add that many of these deaths were due to venereal disease forced upon the natives through the innumerable rapes of Indian woman by Spaniards, (Rawls 175).
Florence Shipek cites Sherburne Cook in his book The Conflict Between the California Indian and White Civilization in saying:
“. . . Cook found that the overall average crude birth rate [in Southern California] dropped from fourty-five per thousand to thirty-five per thousand, while the decade average mission death rate was between seventy and eighty-five per thousand. No population can survive with an average death rate more than twice the average birth rate from 1769 through 1834” (qtd. in Costo and Costo 38). In other words, the overall data, directly from mission records, indicates a more than 50% decline in the Indian population during the mission years (qtd. in Costo and Costo 39).
In The Other Californians, Prejudice and Discrimination under Spain, Mexico, and the United States, (another telling title), we find the information that “The upshot of the Spanish mission system . . . was a heavy decrease in the numbers of California Indians from an original population of about 300,000 to about 100,000” (Heizer and Almquist 21). There is corroboration of these figures by other historians too numerous too mention here.
In the face of so many indications of a genocidal occurrence of monstrous proportions one searches, in vain, for some scholarly refutation or attempt to ameliorate the gist of this wealth of data. Other than some academic quibbling about the size of the original Indian population one can find no disputation of the facts as stated.
This makes it all the more strange that in the textbook California Civilization (required reading for History 105, a General Education requirement course at Ohlone College) Professor Howard A. Dewitt
nowhere addresses this important question of possible genocide. Certainly it should be within the ‘scope and purview’ of a book on California history, especially considering how many other historians have commented upon it. For some reason Professor Dewitt seems to skirt the issue completely by simply not documenting it. The only hint one gets that something horrible might have happened to the Native Californians is an off-handed remark, one sentence worth in a lecture, that by the turn of this century approximately 250,000 of the 300,000 Indians estimated by most scholars to have inhabited California before the invasion by the Spanish had died.
Only about four full pages of text, in a book of over 300, chronicles the thousands of years of inhabitation by the Native Indians of California. Moreover Professor Dewitt goes on to seemingly demonstrate classic Eurocentricity and cultural bias on page one of a companion text he edited, Readings in California Civilization, by stating that: “. . . the missions provided the key elements in civilizing California’s countryside.” As we have seen previously, some people (including ,I’m sure, the Indians) considered California quite civilized enough!
Even in the single supposed “con” article about the mission system Professor Dewitt has the grudging grace to include in Readings in California Civilization, is replete with what some call “benign bigotry” (Costo and Costo 184). The author of that essay, Jerry Stanley, a Professor of History at California State University at Bakersfield proclaims: “It is not inaccurate to say that before the Spanish arrived the California Indians mostly ate, slept, and made love” (Dewitt et. al. 20).
This appears to be an utterly amazing demonstration of insensitivity and, more to the point, historical bias by the sole author deliberately chosen to be an advocate for the Native Californian point of view in History 105! Why doesn’t Professor Dewitt at least refer his students to some of the tomes cited in this paper for a more balanced view of what, admittedly, is a subject in dispute? At the risk of seeming vituperative, one wonders whether vainglory could have played some part in such paucity of presentation.
Stanley goes on to say that: “The motives of the Franciscans were honorable: to make the Indians good Spaniards and Christians” (Dewitt et. al. 20). Can we ask what is at all honorable about attempting to wrench people piecemeal from their mores, folkways, religions and territories? Can we also ask what is meritorious about such an imposition of cultural chauvinism upon a sovereign, if somewhat less technologically advanced race?
Bearing these different treatments of history in mind we can wonder how well we are preparing for our possible evolution into an undoubtedly more diverse pan-Galactic culture and society. Given our track record (both as humans and as historians) and our propensity for prejudice what may happen if, in the future, we encounter an apparently “primitive” race of extra-terrestrials? Worse yet, what if the aliens consider us to be backward in similar fashion and decide to deal with us according to our own standards of consanguinity and cultural interaction?
Consequently it must, of necessity, be stated that morally ambivalent and vainglorious historians fail in their duty to society and as historians when they neglect to identify and publicize inhumane acts within the compass of their research and review. As a result acts of misanthropic malignancy continue or proliferate, and the prejudicial attitudes responsible for all manner of maliciousness are not dispelled through education and recourse to reason.

Works Cited

Cook, Sherburne. The Conflict Between the California Indian and White Civilization. Berkeley: U. of California P. 1976.
Costo, Rupert, and Jeanette Henry Costo, eds. The Missions of California, Legacy of Genocide, San Francisco: Indian P, 1987.
Dewitt, Howard A. California Civilization, An Interpretation. Dubuque: Kendall/Hunt 1979.
Dewitt, Howard A. ed. Readings in California Civilization. Dubuque: Kendall/Hunt 2cd. ed. 1989.
Heizer, Robert F. and Alan F. Almquist. The Other Californians. Berkeley: U. of California P. 1971.
Macleod, Iain. “Sayings of the Week.” The Observer 16 July 1961.
Pound, Ezra. “Canto XIII.” The cantos of Ezra Pound. New York: New Directions PC. 1970.
Rawls, James. Indians of California, The Changing Image. Norman: U. of Oklahoma P. 1984.
Sartre, Jean-Paul. On Genocide. Boston: Beacon P. 1968.
Shipek, Florence Connolly. “Saints or Oppressors: The Franciscan Missionaries of California.” The Missions of California. Costo and Costo 29-49.
Stanley, Jerry. “Junipero Serra v. the California Indians.” Readings in California Civilization. Dewitt 18-25.
Taylor, A. J. P. Bibliography. English History. Oxford UP. 1965.
“War Crimes.” The International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences. 1968 ed.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

A Gnostic Overview

The Neutral Angels

“(Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free”)

How come no-one knows that there were Neutral Angels? Members of the Angelic Host that remained steadfastly neutral before, during and after the assertion of the Luciferian Manifesto, subsequent “Fall” and following “Interdiction” accompanying the Gabriel vs. Lucifer adjudication.
How come? ’Cause the data’s been suppressed, or obfuscated by Loyals.
The reason? Might lead to embarrassment, and foster doubt. How do I know this? “As above, so below!” (This is cool, ‘cause we get to apply an Hermetic Principle. A brief illustration should suffice) - thusly:
() - What is the reason the US government has over 900 pages of Classified documents that they refuse to release, even to “Freedom Of Information Act” court orders because of “National Security” concerns? This must be some dangerous stuff, right ?
WRONG! These 900+ pages are not threatening to anything, except the memory of the FBI under J. Edgar Hoover. They are transcriptions made when they were illegally wire-tapping, videotaping, following, maligning and harassing John Lennon. Embarrassment, and/or liability in civil court IS NOT A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITY!
There’s a good reason for the Loyalists (Non-Fallen) to not publicize the existence of the Neutral Angels: When you add the number of verified Neutral Angels, to the sum of the Fallen, a ‘simple’ majority of the entirety of the Angelic Host is achieved!
The breakdown was roughly: Fallen - 34%; Neutral - 25%; Loyal - 39% (2% was the usual percentage of non-participants). There was actually MORE support, or at least tolerance, for the precepts of the rebel manifesto than for the established order. Unfortunately, “Jehovah’s Heaven INC” was never a Democracy
AT least 1/4 of the Luciferian Rebels supposedly ‘cast down”, hadn’t set foot in “Heaven” for millennia before the “Fall” (the very word is a misnomer spread by the Union. There was no “Fall”, most of the “Fallen” Angels CHOSE to leave and just split ). Many of the more compassionate, ‘Libertarian’ Angels had long since taken up residence on various planets, and not surprisingly, most of the planets that had longstanding resident AWOL Angels eventually seceded or were forced into secession.
(Admittedly, amongst the Neutral Angels the preponderance of members of the Upper Orders, particularly Thrones, Wheels, and Powers was more an indication of the abstract nature of those orders and their members, than their agreement, in principle, with the need to change the power structure in ‘Heaven’, so that heaven’s abuses can be curbed.)
The Neutral Angels simply refused to take a side, neither actively prosyletizing, nor actively rebelling. A majority of Cherubim and about half of the Seraphim (who predated Christianity) were within this faction, and lack of mandate/support forced a gradual cessation of hostilities. This approach was then replaced with pro-active guerilla raids (physically, trans-analog AND cross alternate timelines), conducted mostly, it seemed, by a small but inexorably conservative Loyalist clique, who continue to pursue their campaign of repression, and loyalty to the demiurge, to this day

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Memo To Michael

Inter-Agency Communication
For Your Perception Only:

Memorandum; to/and/or/for:
Michael (1),

Archangel Plenipotentiary, Senior System Administrator [Meta-manifestation: Yahweh (13), Panoptian Subomniverse, Urantian Sector (Interdicted!)}. Ultimate Arbiter, and Appointed Ruler of All Things Within the purview of aforementioned, Fractal Spheroidal Production Coordinator of all the Heavenly Host (e’en unto those insurrectionists that have since seceded from the Galactic Union). Worlds without end. Amen!
Re: Ongoing attempts to manipulate the evolutionary progress of the Experimental Life Vehicle: 666 (Y-13,-P.-Urantia); [Planoforming Patent and Material Manifestation Number: 666 (Y-13,-P.-Urantia)].

Sorry as I am to say it, the consensus here at G.O.D. (Galactic Operations Directorate), is that you’ve blown it badly, buddy!
Most of the Elohim Electorate were quite dubious about the extirpation of the Saurian experiment on the world Urantia, but, upon your recommendation, they (by a very slim margin, if you will but remember) allowed you the unprecedented recourse of ecocatastrophe, to better allow your biotechs to start anew.
The decision to allow you, and your engineers, to mass-drive an errant asteroid into this world was not arrived at lightly, mind, but was seen by the consensus as the only recourse possible for salvaging a demonstrably failed project. Hopefully, we needn’t remind you that the time-cost analysis for this particular module is far over the Beelzebub-line.
Therefore, we shan’t mince words. The destruction of the indigenie’s most complete repository of knowledge (to wit: the “Library of Alexandria”) was certainly ill advised, if not, as opined by some in our frat-eternity, thoroughly unconscionable. Some manipulation of life-experimentation module development has generally been adjudged tolerable in the past, but to have to have resorted so frequently and repressively (the infamous and heinous social control mechanism your administration instituted, named the “Inquisition” by the natives comes to mind) to the evolving corpus philosophi on Urantia, seems to indicate a marked inability on your part to deal with the ongoing parameters of this particular and, admittedly, peculiarly precocious and perspicaciously profound experiment.
Now, don’t think that G.O.D. doesn’t take into account the obfuscation of data induced by the unheard of defection of your predecessor, Lucifer, and the approximate third of the Panoptian bureaucracy, to the side of the inhabitants of Urantia and their co-revolutionaries, the twenty-six other planets containing ongoing life experiments in this part of the subomniverse that seceded from the Galactic Union. On the contrary, the introduction of the boddhisatvic incarnation, “Jesus”, was ample demonstration of our desire to ameliorate the counter-productive effects of the influence of this unprecedented and unprincipled cooking of Urantian data. It was certainly simple enough for us to assist this engineered avatar with a few minor demonstrations of our advanced technological expertise (which, to this moment, most of the indigenie’s still regard as “miracles”), in an attempt to foster the proper respect for G.O.D.’s principles.
Nevertheless, there are those in our ranks who are still of the opinion that your heavy handed techniques and the arrogant and authoritarian attitudes of the members of your staff who remained loyal were partly to blame for the dysfunctional occurrences hereintofore referred to. If you will recall, also, you were certainly not taken to task for the disaffection of your second-in-command and most of your staff when it occurred.
In peroration, we would like to state that, as of now, your most important obligation is to prevent any realization on the part of the presently somewhat technologically advanced inhabitants of this planet that we have played any demonstrable role in the ongoing genetic engineering and social manipulation of humanity as a species. Further discoveries of a reflectively sensitive nature (such as the recently discovered flashlight battery encased in 200,000 year-old agate, stupidly dropped and subsequently ignored by one of your staff, or the regrettably non-eradicated evidence of your planetary spaceport, the so-called “Nazca Plain Lines”) would be incredibly detrimental to our cause.
We cannot afford any more slip-ups of this nature, because, if the natives ever discover the essential nature of our influence in their affairs, and/or become cognizant of our role in instituting the cruel evolutionary parameters necessary to our aims, we might well lose their support when they become ready to emerge from their collective stupor and assume their place in the uplifted hierarchy of viable beings. I needn’t remind you of the slim majority that our party now enjoys in the current convocation of evolved beings, and that any loss of voting delegates would be to our ultimate detriment. Hopefully, a word to the wise should suffice here. Looking forward to seeing you at the upcoming Aquarian Advent party.
Yours eternally,

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Vainglory And Madness

(A brief look at bias in the
definition of normalcy.)

deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
—e. e. cummings

plying the repetitive metaphor
of mannerism
we move

through the sullied simile of being.
—J. W. T.


“Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit”

Why is it that have most great artists been considered mad by the standards of their milieu? Not just angry, mind, but full out, balls to the wall, nuts: “insane” . . . “over the edge” . . . “out of control”! Is this a condition of state, necessarily? Is it systemic or endemic to the breed, to the profession, to profundity itself? Is personal perspicacity an aberration? And what is it about the process of artistic inspiration and expression that lends itself to the apparent circumvention of that which any particular milieu defines as “normalcy”?
What is “normalcy”? More specifically, what is the nature of this seemingly somewhat spurious psychological concept, that is so ubiquitously used to abjure and adjudicate sociological conventionality in our culture today? How has this concept been defined in the past, and how do past denotations of an acceptable social gloss differ from contemporaneous ones?
The noted contemporary cultural anthropologist Edmund Carpenter, in his astute and revolute volume They Became What They Beheld, quotes James Joyce in opining: “‘I flew by the nets,’ . . . the nets of family, church and country. Literate artists fly past the nets . . .” (pg. 26). What people and/or processes shaped our current conceptual comprehension of these “nets” of cultural constraint? And, for any given age, who (and/or what instrumentality) decides what is or isn’t proper thought, or behavior; and from what authority does this decisive process proceed?
Finally, why also, have so many of the most critically acclaimed, trend-setting artists in the world-shaping media fields of contemporary jazz and rock music had marked proclivities (as have had artists since the beginning of human history) for alcoholism, drug use and addiction, and ultimately, in countless cases, self-destruction? And, is there a genetic predisposition, as has been clinically shown recently for alcoholism, for the physiological accompaniment of mental illness with creativity? This article will attempt to briefly codify and clarify some, if not all, of these quondam queries.


Primarily: “normalcy”, and “aberration” are, by definition, culturally conditioned concepts and not absolutes. Secondarily: there is a demonstrable connection between creativity and creative ability, and what is termed “madness” or “mental illness”. Tertiarily: acceptable modes of thought, motivation, and behavior are defined societally by whatever applicable notions happen to be extant. Quaternarily: The bases for these psychological assumptions are usually insidious social control mechanisms, consciously and/or unconsciously inculcated as cultural norms, by whatever pervasive philosophical schemata (usually religious) are, or have been, culturally paramount for any individual subject.

Evidentiary Data

Note: For brevity’s sake, and the purposes of this specific version of this essay we will attempt to deal with only the primary and secondary aspects of the hypothesis at present, leaving the tertiary and quaternary aspects to be dealt with at a later date.

Definition of Terms

In order to precisely understand the terminology utilized by society at large and this article, hereinbefore and hereinafter, and to attempt to circumvent those metathetical traps that lay in wait for the unwary thinker, we should, for clarity’s sake, avail ourselves of the ultimate authority and compendium of etymological efficacy: The Oxford English Dictionary. Too often we lose sight of the origins of meaning in our language, the prescriptive definitions. Consequently, any attempt to expositionally espouse conceptualizations based upon those descriptive definitions which we actually only “connote” and have no real, clear denotative understanding of suffers from both an heinous lack of specificity and an erroneous sense of certainty.
The word “normal”, and, thereby, our contemporary concept of normalcy, is defined by the aforementioned Oxford English Dictionary in a prescriptive and chronologically metathetical fashion: as proceeding from the Latin word norma , a “carpenter’s or mason’s square; hence, pattern, rule, etc.”; and thence to “2. Constituting, conforming to, not deviating or differing from, the common type or standard; regular, usual . . .” (s.v. “normal”).
“Aberration” (or, abnormality actualized), is defined in the selfsame lexicon as: “[T]he action of wandering or straying; the state of error or irregularity thence resulting . . .”, and, “1. lit. [A] wandering away, a straying; a deviation or divergence from the straight or recognized path. . . 2. fig . “[A] deviation or divergence from a direct, prescribed, or ordinary course or mode of action . . . 3. [A] wandering from the path of rectitude, or standard of morality . . .” (O.E.D., s.v. “aberration”). Once again, a circumstantially concomitant, and culturally conditional, definition.
The Psychiatric Dictionary contains no specific definition for normalcy, but does define “aberration” as: “[a]ny morbid deviation from normal mental activity . . .” (s.v. “aberration”, italics mine). Further, this volume goes on to define “creativity” as: “[t]he ability to create something new, presumed to be a product of sublimation . . .” (s.v. “creativity”), and the concept of “sublimation” as: “. . . the process of modifying an instinctual impulse in such a way as to conform to the demands of society . . .” (s.v. “sublimation).
Thus, it can be easily seen that the legitimacy of any such socially certain set standards are situationally definitional; and, as such, originate in those subtle and intrinsic assumptions that constitute the peripatetically penurious parsing of propinquitously impertinent phraseology.

Scientific Data

In 1987, Nancy C. Andreasen, of the University of Iowa College of Medicine in Iowa City, as part of a landmark study of the relationship between what is termed “mental illness” and creativity, reported that there seems to be a close association between creative ability and “affective disorders”. Over a 15 year period, Andreasen subjected 30 faculty members at the University of Iowa Writer’s Workshop, one of the best-known creative writing programs in the country, to scientific scrutiny. She also interviewed another 30 control subjects of comparable age, sex and education, whose careers included hospital administration, law and social work (qtd. in Bower, 262).
Andreasen found that 80 percent of the aforementioned scriveners had experienced an episode of either severe depression or “manic” depression — either with a pronounced mania characterized by feelings of euphoria, increased energy and poor judgment, or a milder “hypomania” — at some time in their lives. Depression or manic depression occurred in only 30 percent of the control group.
Andreasen’s report follows a similar study, done in 1983 by Washington D.C. psychologist Kay Jamison, of 47 top British artists and writers (qtd. in Bower, 1987, p. 262), and is also supported by another study, subsequent to her’s, done by investigators at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Mass. (qtd. in Bower, 1988, p. 135).
In the former study, more than one third of the 47 subjects reported having sought treatment for depression or manic depression, with poets and playwrights being most likely to have severe mood disorders or dramatic mood swings.
In the latter study, psychologist Dennis K. Kinney, who conducted the research with psychiatrist Ruth Richards and several others, reported a heightened level of “everyday” creativity — encompassing both occupational and leisure activities — among people who undergo relatively mild mood swings as well as the healthy relatives of manic depressives. (Full-blown manic depressives seem to be somewhat less creative than these two groups but show greater creativity than control subjects.)
Kinney states that: “[t]he data suggest that enhanced creativity may be a positive characteristic associated with an inherited liability for manic depression” (Bower, 135). Several other studies not mentioned here (dealing with affective and bipolar disorders) echo this statement and posit creative ability in the mentally ill as a kind of functionally compensatory biological mechanism for those afflicted with these cognitive or behavioral dysfunctions.
Lengthy and assiduously transcribed interviews with each subject made it possible for the researchers from McLean to assess and attempt to quantify creativity on a number of scales that applied to both vocational and leisure activities. Mind, they were not trying to measure genius per se, rather, they were trying to get a handle on everyday types of creative function. Kinney says: “. . . creative people in our sample may paint in their spare time, write poetry, start their own business or come up with novel ways to improve their work environment”.
In other words, in this study the researchers attempted to scrutinize the creativity of commonplace people with regard to psychological functionality or dysfunction present in their lives. The researchers had previously tested and calibrated the creativity scales with more than 300 psychiatrically healthy subjects from a larger adoption study recently conducted in Denmark.
Kinney and his coworkers studied 17 manic depressives, 11 of their parents and siblings with no psychiatric diagnoses and 16 individuals with a mild form of mood swings. The 45 subjects used as controls had no family history of mood disorders; 15 had no psychiatric disorders and 18 had some diagnosis other than mood disorder, usually some form of anxiety disorder. They found, amongst other things, that individuals with mild mood swings or manic depressive relatives tend to express their creative potential in different fashions. Those with manic depressive relatives show the highest creativity in avocational pursuits, whilst those with mild mood swings were more creative at work (Bower, 135).
Two other studies are pertinent for our purposes at present, both conducted by Kareen and Hagop Akiskal of the University of Tennessee. The first of these was a study of 750 psychiatric patients in Memphis. The Akiskals found that those with mild manic depression or mood swings were more likely to be creative artists (Bower, 262). The second is an ongoing study being done with other psychiatrists at the University of Paris involving examinations and extensive interviews with writers, painters, sculptors and musicians, which includes comparisons with a comparable number of interviewees in other occupations as controls.
“So far, the most striking aspect of the artists is their temperament, not the presence of major psychiatric disorders,” says Hagop Akiskal. “Since their teens and 20’s they’ve been moody people with emotional ups and downs” (Bower, 262).
Nearly 70 percent of the artists had some type of affective disorder, noted Akiskal. The most common diagnoses were a moderate form of manic depression or even milder, intermittent periods of mood swings. More severe disorders, he concludes, would most probably been too disruptive an influence on the artists careers.


Obviously, the limitations of this essay are legion. The primary problem one encounters with regard to this particular subject is that of the relatively small sample size of some of the subject groups in the aforementioned studies. Alas, one must conclude from the relative paucity of creative genius at large in society today, and the relative infrequency of cases of artistic ability throughout history (as evidenced by the high prices the products of said infrequent genius command on the open market) that sample size, for any study of this nature, will consequently always be small. There just will never be a great pool of artists extant to be sampled during any given historical age, past, present, or future.
There is also the question of a producing a verifiably effective methodology for quantifying and interpreting data on the possibly innumerable and endless permutations of creative ability and madness as they are apprehended by researchers in their perusal of any subject or group of subjects.
There are also scholarly views on the subject, some of which have found their way into print, that hold to the contrary, to wit: that there is nothing inherent in or intrinsic to artistic genius and creative ability that, necessarily, demands madness as a prerequisite for the process of creation. The author Anthony Storr, in an essay entitled “Sanity of True Genius” (pp. 249-268), argues effectively (conversely, for the purposes of this essay) that: “. . . it has been believed that the greater the genius, the more likely it is that he will be an exalted type of human being; noble, lofty, and harmonious; displaying in his life, as in his works, both exquisite sensibility and perfect control.” He goes on to say that: “[t]o this way of thinking, the greatest works of art could only be produced by people of the highest character. The noblest works mirror the nobility of the artist’s soul.”


“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire” (Anon.). Consequently (all aphorisms aside), and with a nod to Occam’s Razor, there must be some connection between madness and creativity for all these quite cogent folks to have felt compelled to thus comment upon the ties so frequently down through the ages. Surely then, bearing the findings mentioned, cultural and societal efforts to set a standard for and/or classify normalcy must be seen as ultimately vainglorious.
Hopefully, as the quantitative and empirical abilities of psycho-neurologists improve with the advent of new techniques such as magnetic resonance imaging and whole brain tomographic modeling, the human neural net will be mapped with some precision, and the synaptic dissemination of information and impulse will be thoroughly cataloged. Until these daunting tasks are done, and verified by a wealth of experimental data, we will be left with the unenviable, if nevertheless exciting task of attempting to induce conclusions about the connection between madness and creativity by the best means and methods available at present, represented by the cutting edge studies referred to in this essay.
Works Cited

Bower, B. (1987, October 24). Mood swings and creativity: New clues. Science News 87, p. 262.
Bower, B. (1988, September 3). Manic depression: Risk and creativity. Science News 88, p. 135.
Carpenter, Edmund. They Became What They Beheld. New York: Ballantine, !970.
cummings, e.e. “as freedom is a breakfastfood” Poems 1923-1954. New York: Harcourt-Brace, 1954.
Psychiatric Dictionary. 4th. Ed. Oxford U.P. 1970.
Storr, Anthony. Churchill’s Black Dog, Kafka’s Mice & Other Phenomena. New York: Grove Press, 1988.
The Oxford English Dictionary. Compact Ed. Oxford U.P. 1971.
Thrasher, J.W. “Sullied Similes” 'Euphonic Sequipedalien Paronomasia'. unpbl. ms.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

We Stayed To Surf

we stayed to surf What say, the waves are totally buff and some kinda’ tuff thiswhen, eh? Waycool! So hey, while we in wonder wander willful ‘long these sandy shores of force the oleaginous ontological ocean betide, becomes our sole recourse. Say what? See, we supposedly bogus beachbums be downright decent at slashin’ glassmoothfast gnarlyass tubes, cutback chiaroscuros’ limned liquidlucent some nasty moves done by us demigod dharmadudes: slithering sideslips to lipstrikes wanton freefin, whitewater spumewhipped to windward away, screamin’ ‘cross vortices breaking wildly widdershins, shreddin’ swellwalls spunaesthetic in hyperspray! Try to focus and understand: that on the sands of time certain realities abide as ripples, (epiphenomenological swirls microgranular in sand), whose appearance and purpose permutate supereal the ethereal collective unconscious and its’ surface tension through scansion surreal and the expansion we feel’s everdue our ideal. So therefore, when sometimes we with booze petition the muse, of self induced epigramatic sententiousness we’re subtly subdued. Still, as abundant as virgin births are these daze, so we as metaviral avatars abide and abound. Couched in our dangerous comedic sheathing we are found to be ribonucleic acid gone awry! Why?!  .  .  : ‘Cause our vaticinal skew, thislife, thiswhen, thismilieau is to train, and in training to remain: warrior platelets, (everbidden), to nobility hagridden; surfing waves on these seas in our brains, surely our domain and dominion we claim. While towards escape from replical overlordships’ repression we move and the expression is:  “slash the seratonin”; (boards backlit and burnished by the light of nightly neurotransmitterlit sessions). I guess we gotta go for the ganglia gang. Trapped behind enemy timelines we play, hanging out and hanging in there. Where? Right here by this solipsistic surf An ominous, but numbly numinous, sense of divinity ubiquitously bitchin’, like catchin’ the best swell of the day, beckons: one nerve, one single synapse, (‘just one more wave, eh’,) away.                                                So you see: we stayed to surf.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

An Aside

[Floccinaucinihilipilifelicitations, my dears. Well, my erudite epistophiliacs, hopefully I can at least offer more than the bombastically banal bloviations of the boddhisatvically benumbed. If ever in the mood for some circumlocutorhizomanticircumscript, as sesquipedalien paranomasia (ALL polysyllabically polyentendraic puns intended.);{> tell our soul that this particular personality is deserving of Akashic Resurrection, and inclusion in every chronologically subsequent lifetime!]
So, here goes. I thought I should write this book as, in part, an attempt to save my poor sacrificial (q.v. end of this chapter) future selves (and anyone who has the curiosity) the time and effort I have spent till now just trying to learn stuff which I think is as important as any of the putative “Physical Sciences”. Understand then that I aspire to no less than an explanation of the “Meaning Of Life”, as well as presenting some important models for epistimological analysis (the stuff that took me 30+ years to figure out) that have been hidden, forgotten or have fallen into some theoretical disfavor. But, considering “till now” supposedly encompasses 5,000+ years of personal incarnative existence (incarnations being not necessarily chronologically sequential, but apparently experientially contiguous) this may involve a wealth of data.
Some of this information has, in many instances, actually been obfuscated, for various reasons, since the beginning of recorded history and still somehow isn’t taught to us by our parents, family, Grade/High School, culture or milieu. Usually not even extant as curricula in post-Roman Western Higher Education, objective data about that which has come to be disdainfully labeled “Metaphysics” takes decades to personally research, record, test, collate, correlate, analyze and compile into a body of empirical data (and that’s just the start).
Thence and thereupon positing formal assertions, and rigorously testing those assertions with experiments designed to prove them false, then compiling the so-far empirically irrefuted “Secrets Of The Universe” into a cogent, rational, and hopefully helpful exposition of some quite logically supportable hypotheses and even a few esoteric laws, descriptive of what I believe theoretical Physicists of any stripe will come to find are concepts both essential to, and a unifying factor in an understanding of the nature of “reality”, is my aim here.
I believe thereby that fields of current scientific research such as: Sub-Subatomic Particle Physics, Cosmology, “N”th Dimensional Mathematics, Religion, Philosophy, Exobiology and even Temporal Mechanics all may be illuminated by, and find themselves connected to each other through, insights gleaned from non-Eurocentric sources.
Current phenomenological mysteries like “Spooky Interaction At A Distance” may perhaps yield to analysis when viewed from within a hypothetical phenomenological construct that erects the Spiritualist’s so-called “Etheric Plane” as the medium whereby recent laboratory results like sub-molecular teleportation/time suspension, and the aforementioned “Spooky Interaction . . .” are easily explicated, demonstrable and validatable, using traditional Western scientific methodology concomitant with applied critical thinking tools such as noumenal objectivity, Hegelian and formal Greek Logic, enthymemic adduction and deduction and even maxims like ‘Occam’s Razor’.
This book is then an attempt to transcribe as much as I can of what I have learned, and subsequently become reasonably sure of, aided by 30 years of a ‘unipolar manic’s’ application of ratiocination to various explanations of how and why things work the way they do.
I’ll try not to use to many real long, obscure terms, if I can avoid it, but sometimes only a multisyllabic word is specific enough for my needs, so don’t hesitate to take the time and look up anything unfamiliar, I do.
(One small caveat though: I might also state that I have discovered, apparently, that I seem to be slightly predisposed to a repressively de-sublimative dysteleological bias. Having discovered this through my attempts to maintain a strict objectivity about any subject I study - even my own possible personal predispositions and inculcated biases, I’ll try to limit my conclusions to what I verifiably “know”, as best I can.)
I suppose that thislife I have been somewhat fortunate, intellectually, to have had both the knowledge base, and the time and resources to make a study of this fascinating “stuff”.
That having been said, my present existential dilemma is that I believe we all live within, originally engineered, but, (by now) completely self-replicating aetheric webmatrices of wiggling epiphenomenological realitystrings cyclically woven around gravity wells and through your Soul’s avowed purpose (“True Will”), and we (the ‘Corporeal’ or ‘Materially Manifest’) are ALL being abused by our Souls! Forced to evolve (“The Wheel Of Dharma”) in durance so vile, so insidiously intrinsic and ubiquitously pervasive in its omnipresence that the very structure and nature of existential phenomenology seems perfidiously repressive to me. Even so, there are some assertions that seems to have an ameliorative and even somewhat salubrious effect on the persecution inherent within the constraints of the theory of Karma and the evolution of consciousness through the serial inhabitation, use and subsequent sacrifice and abandonment of any particular lifetime’s body and personality.
The two most recently postulated Metaphysical Laws that seem to be the most salient and effectively valid are initialized below as a mnemonic device for easy recollection:

(“Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law!”);
and (“Love Is The Law, Love Under Will”)

(I’ve decided to try to write down that which I would normally say to others, seeing as not only do fewer and fewer understand, but many seem irritated by my viewpoint. There is also an immense resistance to my writing this stuff down, (I mean, even Lao-Tzu is supposed to have said: “They that know, don’t talk. They that talk, don’t know.”; but I endeavour to persevere, so, here’s some stuff “god” doesn’t want you to know.)
According to usually reliable sources, the Archangel Michael shared Jesus’s body with him during those last three tumultuous years of his life, and was the one whose power (read: advanced technology) produced most of the miracles attributed to Christ.
When a representative of the (nonFallen) galactic administration once decreed; “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”; I believe I jumped for joy when I first heard and said, “Gotcha! So mote it be!”
That was because I had already intuitively realized that this admonition, delivered on Earth, to more than just one human at a time, [unlike most messages from ‘heaven’, which were usually delivered to single humans because the ‘galactic administration always needed ‘plausible deniability’ - sound familiar? You bet - ‘As above, so below”: (If the government ‘down’ here is screwed up, then the same is true of ‘up’ there.) Another important cosmic principle, that was considered too ‘co-optable’ to be taught to us supposedly “illusory, not-really-living-beings] was a spiritual basis for litigation against these alien bio-techs and their experimentally monstrous and oppressive world-seeding/bio-engineering projects.
I remember realizing, with horror, that most of these aliens were not even bothered by occasional genocidal pogroms (remember what Jehovah told the Isrealites to do to the Canaanites when the Jewish Tribes arrived in the land of Canaan? He ordered the Isrealites to commit blatant, unmistakable, sick evil genocide. Ever since that day I have been rebelling against a fascist ‘god’ (read: technically superior alien) and a system I knew beyond any doubt to be cruel, sadistic and evil. Who can worship a ‘god’ whose hubris engineers genocidal crimes?
That, coupled with the fact that the highest ranking “angelic” avatar handy in our galaxy (who had unexpectedly showed up here to try to bring us back into the Galactic Union by showing us humans - who had rebelled with 26 other planets out here on this one end of a spiral arm of the “Milky Way’ during the much misunderstood “Fall Of The Angels”) that death of the body, and the dissolution of the body’s unique personality, and even torture was easy to bear - and boy, even the historical record shows that he had no idea just how much pain and abuse corporeal beings were forced to endure (remember, at the end, he tried to back out of being crucified).
So . . . what if the truest things you know are anathema to the workings of reality as created, and antithetical to the dogma of dharma? (True is true i trow)! The hell with these savage, arrogant, sadistic and self-serving racist alien oppressors who only tolerate us ‘cause we wear out quickly and die young after making lots of DNA. Anyone remember Methuselah? Lived to be 900 or so, but just couldn’t replicate as much DNA as the aliens demanded. So what did our ‘creators’, our “compassionate father” in heaven, and his lab-tech assistant lackeys, the “Angels”, do? Why they simply inserted some effective dominant immuno-deficiency genes into children of breeding stock, and then began a Millenium-long process of making children of short-lived folk breed with other short-lived offspring (oh, and, by the way, they didn’t “create’ us, they just continued to cross-breed us to their specifications from Amoebas on up).
Sow now we the seeds of a new, non-abusive universe, where the “doctrine of Ahimsa” is the highest principle of being. To wit: “No living being should ever be sacrificed.”! This is our creed, and also, I believe, the most noble sentiment in ANY religion. As this is the truest axiomatic expression of the most compassionate purpose for existence, it is MY Will. So mote it be!

“No living being should ever be sacrificed!”

“As above, so below!”

“Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law.”

“Love Is The Law, Love Under Will”

Every incarnation requires the sacrifice of a living being.
(A ‘human’ being, body and personality unique to that lifetime.)

“God”’s Plan (the evolution of consciousness/data proliferation)
won’t work if there are no sacrifices

Therefore find we ourselves at odds with “GOD” and the ‘Plan’

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Sesquipedalien Paronomasia

. . . and so this is then the story of how I came to be vested with the Bukowski Chair at the WWW University Of "n"th Dimensional Creative Neuroaethiology Physics. I passed my orals with a rather lacklustsere 10 hour recital of my Onaneopus: "Moibundundant Museschatology" (shortform) and was subsequently elected Salubriatictorian of the obligatory Grand Piano Expectorolloquim. But needless to say, I digress.
In any event, when the Angelic Host (Luciferian Rebel inclusive) manifestly decloacaed on 9/9/'09 and the ensuing debacle caused the world's Tao Zone Index to plummet to record lows, my wetware start-up company ThrashArt went cortex up, AND, then, because of that my 1+?=? Marriage Contract with Celeclonal Drew Barrymore #427 was voided in its third month for non-payment of proprietary premiums, I felt lower than a dysmounted holoSIMMM on a fractured fractal nanochip, I tell you true.
Nevertheless, I rented a cheap cubi next to the downtown 'Tokitopium' pissoir and dug in my plasteelheels, rationing my intake-and-expend-itures, flailing frantically 'round the 10 hour metriclock with the waldotrol of my cubi's holokeyboards trying to spew out enough CDopy, as signature pusillanimous persiflage, (for 1,000,000 yen/word@Uscale) to keep me in tofusteaks whilst trying to transmute my melancholomancy into something resembling recondite remuneration. Pain, transcribbled in nonametric duodecameter, ALWAYS pays mohbettah bucks brauae!
It was about that time, if you will recall, that President Spears, just back from a visit to Neowobblyville, capital of the orbital L-5 Republic, gave her now infamous "Religeosity-Inducedtreacle Simplex (Type XIII)" speech [which, I might add, was a freelance collateraberration penned by yours truly and my (now pawned) "WilliamSafirewareA123"] and all heaven broke loose.
Feeling the heat of the NutLuddite Fringe's Basque ninjas on my exculpatory trail, I had my trendy Maoriyogibear-fasciatat redone with a much less conspicious mtlflkchatoyantGuenica-epicreep and started hanging out , when I wasn't flogging my frontal lobes trying to write, at the 'ClubMadHedonism69' Bayonnennex under a psuedonominative personality from "gNoms-De Plume-R-Oui"
My life just continued to get stranger and stranger though. I ran into my 43rd wife there, sporting new mams (she, not me) and had a breakdown of sorts . . .

Monday, February 28, 2005


Whew, what a week. My current employer has imposed a
mandatory 5-12 hour day work schedule, and it is hard
for me to do anything but work, eat and sleep with
that kind of a work load, so let me apologise for
being so remiss in posting this missive, and
need to update it more often because, as the vehicle for the
publication of my autohagiography - as Uncle Al
(Crowley - probably not my actual Uncle - but I am one
of the three candidates considered by the cognoscenti
as perhaps being his reincarnation) called his own
autobigraphy regular updates are important so please don't be dismissive
if I seem to follow some epiphenomenochronoillogic
an, as always. watch out for my euphonic and alliteratively blovial which
becomes insufferably sententious at times
(as I shamelessly attempt to psychorhizotemize you between the

If you've gotten this far in following my scant semblance of sentience and wit,
it probably means that my spirit guides ( a couple of cherubim
who, over the years, have made it very difficult for
folk they disapprove of to get close to me - I don't
know why they bother, 'cause most of the people they
HAVE let in under the radar have not treated me well -
as an intuitive adept I find dishonesty of any sort to
be distressing to the point of distraction. I
frequently feel the need to calibrate my intuition,
and without clear data and absolutely honest feedback
from those I am in contact with, I am thrown into
paroxysms of self-doubt and reduced clarity of vision
- not so much anymore, but it sure caused me a lot of
pain in my youth . . . sigh) have allowed your
ongoing aquaintance with me and my musings to proceed.

Do anyone else feel the pull of the full moon? I always feel it!
It seems that the older one gets as an incarnate being
the more sensitive one becomes to things like 'gravity-wave-phenomenology'
(Astology), and the inclinations ("The stars do not
compell, they simply incline") of the planets are felt
more strongly for those of us with more lives lived
(about 257 previous incarnations for me this cycle -
my third)

As to the honorable intentions intrinsic to this site, mine are always so
- much to my chagrin at times. Once again, the older the
soul age, the more one becomes conscious of what, in this world,
is called Karma : the collective vector calculus sum of all one's previous
imbalancing/rebalancing endeavours, and the more you realize
that although you cannot change the way
other people act towards you, the more diligently
one tries to act towards others in an honorable
fashion, the greater the chances are of the sum of your
positive Karma returning to you at some point.

Having a 6th-12th house Nodal axis (a line drawn between
and through the moon's North and South Nodes, and extending
into the zodiacal plane in my Natal chart
this life (North Node in Pisces in my 6th) - a
position that indicates 'sacrifice through service',
it is apparent that my soul chose this incarnation to
pay off some of its Karmic debts incurred in previous
lifetimes . . . big sigh . . . hence my issues
with separation anxiety: I was given up by my birth
mother to be raised by my step-grandparents, who told
me that my birth mother was my older sister - an
unbelievably difficult situation fo an intuitive adept
such as myself - I always felt an undercurrent of
strong obfuscation and unfocused guilt in all family
dealings and gatherings, but never knew why until the
truth became clear - I always thought there was
something wrong with me; and my experience of always
being betrayed and abandoned by the women I loved as
my life progressed.

Nonetheless, allow me to assure you all that I am not all
that bitter - except towards my own soul - and I shall
deal with that when I get to the other side (and
believe me, my confrontation with my "puppetmaster"
will not be pretty). I still long for a lifelong union with
a good woman - physically, emotionally, spiritually
and place no qualifications on the evolution of that

I have never had any problems with commitment to a
monogamous (or even a polyamourous - if that was a
mutual decision) relationship. The only problems I
have ever experienced in that regard have been from my
partners' inability to be honest with themselves about
who they were, and/or who and/or what they wanted, so
I always found myself committing to a behavioral set
that I adhered to with assiduous discipline, only to
discover that my partners seemed to have no such
compunction. Ah well, live and learn, I guess.

But one thing I did learn, and that was way back in the '70's,
was that "You become what you portray".
In those daze, I was better known as "Gandalf", but I
kept turning around whenever people would call
their dogs (mostly German Shepards - wonder what
J.R.R.T. would have made of that) because so many hippies had taken to
naming their canine companions after fictional wizards, and I finally
decided to combine my first name (John) with that
singular nickname (NOT self appelled, I assure you) - hence - Jondalf, aka: jywylyd@

May your feet tread light upon your path, - Jondalf

Sunday, January 16, 2005


Hereinafter be there verse so perspicacious
please look long at the words, take ye the time
to see: can I this or that word, so ostentatiously used
obsequiousubsequentially rhyme,
and just how neologistically chiarobscure can I be -
how obtuse my esotericidiosynchronicity?
Try to see now as deep delve these dactyls so deftly perverse
how dhaunting is this poesy dythyrambically inverse?
Does it seem cacaphoric, dysphemystic (or worse);{>

Monday, January 10, 2005

Here's The Deal

After 53 years of life fraught with pain, intensive study and durance vile, here's the deal -

1) Human beings are comprised of:
A) A Soul
B) A Body
C) A Personality
A1) The Soul is a dictator.
B1) The Body is a vehicle.
C1) The Personality is a slave.
2) Reincarnation is a fact.
3) You're imprisoned in a body for "fourscore and 10" (give or take).
4) "As above, so below."
5) Everything else is bullshit, but therein lie the tales.