Writing by the Light of my Neurons Dyin’
Prologue - You Can’t Make A Heartbreak Like This Up
So, what do you do when, as you are waking up one morning in November, 2025 there are two male voices in your head saying:
“30 years”, then, “He should be far enough removed to be objective” . . .
. . . & you suddenly remember a scene of catching your former wife having sex with somebody else, that you had forgotten for 3 decades, & every few days thereafter a new previously forgotten memory like that appears, for months.
So, after a while, you realize the suddenly remembered memories from 30 years ago all fit a pattern you had been instructed about, during years as an asset-then-Agent, during the MKUltra Project (Google).
In the ‘70s the CIA (& Russia) were trying to perfect 3rd Reich behavior modification experiments that consisted of inducing a post-hypnotic suggestion to ‘follow orders’, if the order was triggered by a code word. (Think: “Manchurian Candidate”, “Conspiracy Theory” & “Men Who Stare at Goats”).
Evidently, this had been done to me by my CIA ‘handler’ “Scotty” back in the ‘70s, without my knowledge or permission, evidently when I was drugged out. He moved in downstairs from me years later, when I was living with the woman who became my wife (probably having been ordered to monitor the success of my behavior modification long term).,Unbeknownst to me then, my wife had been raped as a child (as had I), & we both had DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder - multiple personalities) & CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder).
CBSD causes compulsive behavior. In women, it shows up as an constant urge for multiple sexual encounters, with friends or even random strangers.
So my wife began to regularly screw my “friend” Scotty in his basement apartment under ours, & one day I walked in on them. Scotty immediately uttered the keyword he had implanted years before & said something to the effect: “Forget you saw us” & “Go back upstairs & take a nap for an hour.” Well, I followed the orders, & thus she learned how to manipulate me.
Ever after that, when I caught my wife screwing another random stranger or friend, or when she was about to, she would use the keyword & order me to forget all about the situation. These were the scenes I am now remembering 30 years later. It makes me sad, because I could have prevented the unprotected sex hookups with total strangers in public restrooms, the STDs & the abortions if I had been allowed to realize just how promiscuous she was. I would have recognized CSBD as the mental illness it is, & gotten her help. All any of my friends wanted to do was take advantage of her illness.
And so, they had made me into a perfect Slave/Cuckold. (I have the role down pat if that’s what you’re into, lmao);{>
I know recall she even used it to tell me to “go to sleep till dawn in the spare bedroom” when she wanted to entertain someone in our bed, in our house, & I happened to be there. This happened dozens of times in our 15 years together. She gave me an STD, & told me to take the medicine she gave me but forget about why I was taking it. And it worked, every time.
She had an abortion I never knew about, because she didn’t know who the father was out of the 5 guys & me she happened to be screwing during the right time period, & one of them was even a black “friend” of mine. Oh yeah - I still don’t know what the keyword was, because I haven’t talked to either of them in 30 years, & they never made me aware of it.
(Please read the 1st 3 chapters posted on my blog at “jondalfopines.blogspot.com” for the full story, & Google “Jondalf Thrasher” for what I’ve been up to since the start of the Internet).
Now, if you made it to here & believe that you might be someone like Aubrey Plaza’s character in “Dirty Grandpa” & actually desire a relationship with a 74 year old Social Media Influencer/infamous old SF rocker - someone smart & funny & honest & caring & loyal & kind (& probably rich shortly) but badly damaged emotionally like me, message me with the phrase:
“Love is the Law” -);{>
