“Writing By The Light Of My Neurons Dyin’” - Chapter 2 - Proof Of Concept

“Writing By The Light Of My Neurons Dyin’”

Chapter 2 - Proof Of Concept

OK, quintessential Twilight Zone story here (play theme now) that actually happened to me, all due to the CIA Project known as MKUltra, half an effing century ago. Now, take note — I’m not a whiner (wanker maybe, but that will be explained later.)

But the unbelievable & surreal enormity of contempt, cruelty & contumely with which I, as an enslaved prisoner to the perverse sexual machinations of my wife & supposed friends for 15 years, sets a new high bar for world class perverted sexual behavior.

50 years ago, I was an MKUltra Agent. During my tenure. without my knowledge or consent I was a designed to be & hypnotically implanted subject, with a planned susceptibility to suggestion, accessed with a keyword/phrase, by my CIA handler.

This was the Holy Grail of Mind Control: engineer the psychology of a mind splintered by childhood sexual trauma to accept the control by an outside source, using a post hypnotically triggered submission to instruction, secretly inculcated thru the repeated use of suggestion, psychotropic drugs & hypnosis, activated by a keyword, phrase or sound.

Imagine — couriers who could not know the messages to which they had been entrusted, even when tortured, without the key. Or assassins who could be triggered by a phone call, who then would kill a politician in plain sight, but as soon as the subject was dead, forget everything.

So, a brief history of my personal hell:

About a month ago, memories from 30 years ago I had never been aware of before just started to appear in my conscious mind upon waking each day. Many years before, I had married a woman who, unbeknownst to me, had been raped during childhood (as had I). We both manifested CSBD (Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder) & DID, in both of our cases — split personalities.

I was suddenly reeling, waking to horrible new memories every morning, remembering having actually seen graphic instances of my wife’s infidelity with my handler, my 2 best friends & even random strangers, but never, in 30 years ever after having recalled any of them.

My handler during MKUltra, who became a friend (I thought) moved in downstairs from us after we both left MKUltra. I now recall, early in the marriage, having discovered my wife, naked, fucking him, & another instance about a month after I met her, with my oldest friend, for 50 years (who was married with 2 kids btw).

My reaction in both instances was only slightly enraged, & I just said to my wife: “I’ll come back to get my stuff tomorrow, you two can have each other.”

My wife freaked then, crying & begging me not to leave (she was still in College & I was supporting her, so her meal ticket was leaving). All I can remember vaguely is being instructed to forget all I had seen, after my handler had uttered a phrase I still can’t recall & to which I immediately submitted. I blanked then, & only remember coming awake on our front porch, staring at nothing.

Evidently, as I was remembering over 15 years, there were at least 2 dozen engineered instances I could now recall, where my wife, or my handler or best friend who wanted to fuck her, instructed me to forget their actions in advance, or things I had seen. I even was occasionally compelled physically to behave as instructed on occasion (like: “go to sleep till dawn in the spare bedroom”) so she & my supposed best friend could have sex all night in our bed, or “Don’t be suspicious of me”. (I now wonder if they ever made me bark like a dog, or dance, for their amusement.) All of this completely forgotten for 30+ years

There were numerous incidents of my wife hooking up to have unprotected sex with complete strangers in bars’ public bathrooms (a typical manifestation ofCSBD for women) while I was instructed to stay at the bar drinking & to forget what was happening.

This type of Mind Control had been the goal of the Nazi’s in WWII, & the research was continued after Operation Paperclip by the CIA. (Which, btw, was actually formed in secret in 1943 by FDR, Patton and a high Nazi officer named Reinhard Gehlen, who knew the Reich would lose, bion. Look it up.) To this day, US Intel promulgates the story that this level of efficacious proof of concept never occurred.

They are effing liars. I and Sirhan Sirhan are living proof. I wonder how many others are out there, just waiting for a phone call, or a whispered phrase in passing, on any US sidewalk